stronger with each tear.

heartbreak warfare

Something happened to me. I can say that, this is the worst thing that ever happened to my life.
You never know when something's going to hit you real hard. Its too hard, you can't even feel the pain anymore. Something too big to consume, I can't even handle it anymore.

Feeling crushed from the least person you expected. So crushed and heartbroken, i keep questioning what's wrong with us ? what's wrong with me ? But no, I'm not going to question anymore. This tragedy will always leave a big fat hole in my heart, a hole that I thought would never be there. Not this huge. I am hurt so huge, i can't even feel the pain anymore. Have you ever felt that kind of pain ? It is numb.

I am silently screaming. I have to say that I'm in denial and keep postponing when should I confront him. Because once I do it, its never gonna be the same again. Its never going to be, the same again. I am so weak it surprises me. I am feeling so vulnerable its fcukin pisses me off. I am so in disbelief I'm running away from facing the reality. I'm too scared to let it fully hit me.

At times like this, i have to say i feel so unbelievably grateful for the existence of my boyfriend and my two very best friends in my life. They have been there for me and giving me support like crazy. I don't know what I would do without them. Thank you.

This is going to be a long journey, a long heartbroken process. Lets all hope for the best.

My Hunsie,

The more I think of you, the more I realize how lucky I am having you for my own darling hub-to-be. Oh, hasn't God been good to me - far more than I deserve.

Thank you for being there and be funny.

love,
lumpy

all (pretty much) the same

You think you know a person
You expect quite a lot from this person
You look up to him
You have so much respect for him
You feel proud when you talk about him
You think he's your role model
You want your husband to be just like your daddy
All of a sudden, its all just shattered.

The respect and admiration has gone
The whole perception has changed.
The whole image is ruined.
Feelings are ruined, hurt and in denial.
I keep thinking that this is not happening. not to me.

I'm hurt
I'm scared
I'm dissapointed
I don't know what to believe anymore.

Why, dad ?

preston bailey's

ain't life grand ?
this is divine.

vera wang's best

hello.I'm not trying to say anything here. just for reference!
nothing really caught my attention anyway.
except maybe the black Delilah dress. (there's only one black)

ps : click on the image to see them in a bigger size.

christmas joy

This is going to be the loneliest christmas of my life, because we're short by two family members. My mom and my brother's in Seattle, and we'll celebrate christmas separately. I got my christmas spirit early this year, guess what i've decided to do ? Making my own flower/cake arrangements!

As shown pictures above, I'm going to make something similar for christmas! More cake, less flowers for top clients and more cake, more flowers for family/friends. You can either put candles, cupcakes, or cakes for the middle part. Its going to be exciting! Isn't it gorgeous ?

hunsie,

like... crazy.

love,
lumpy