heartbreak warfare

Something happened to me. I can say that, this is the worst thing that ever happened to my life.
You never know when something's going to hit you real hard. Its too hard, you can't even feel the pain anymore. Something too big to consume, I can't even handle it anymore.

Feeling crushed from the least person you expected. So crushed and heartbroken, i keep questioning what's wrong with us ? what's wrong with me ? But no, I'm not going to question anymore. This tragedy will always leave a big fat hole in my heart, a hole that I thought would never be there. Not this huge. I am hurt so huge, i can't even feel the pain anymore. Have you ever felt that kind of pain ? It is numb.

I am silently screaming. I have to say that I'm in denial and keep postponing when should I confront him. Because once I do it, its never gonna be the same again. Its never going to be, the same again. I am so weak it surprises me. I am feeling so vulnerable its fcukin pisses me off. I am so in disbelief I'm running away from facing the reality. I'm too scared to let it fully hit me.

At times like this, i have to say i feel so unbelievably grateful for the existence of my boyfriend and my two very best friends in my life. They have been there for me and giving me support like crazy. I don't know what I would do without them. Thank you.

This is going to be a long journey, a long heartbroken process. Lets all hope for the best.